Hello there,

First, welcome to all new subscribers! We are growing faster than I thought. And I am very, very late for the August edition of the newsletter. I have a good friend of mine, Jens, on my team now. He is helping me tremendously with Linked-In and lots of other stuff. As a result, our Linked-In grew fast to over 1000 follower in the last 3 weeks. Make sure to follow us there. We are really putting a lot of effort in designing the content. Thanks!

Today at a Glance

• Why should we train to resist triggers?

• Self Efficacy and Agency.

• Becoming Indistractable.

• Hard things become easier through persistent work over time.

Why should we train to resist triggers?

Two days ago I listend to a podcast episode of the german host Hotel Matze with Dr. Johanna Degen. I can highly recommend Hotel Matze, though it is produced solely in german (there might be AI-tools for translation).

The guest, Dr. Johanna Degen, holds a PhD in social psychology and is an expert on love and life issues. She conducts research on intimacy, relationships, and sexuality at the intersection of technology, psychology, and media. In the press, she's sometimes called "Dr. Tinder." And she truly has valuable insights to share.

Checking your phone, checking social media, swiping on Tinder. These are classic examples of external triggers. At some point, someone recommended you buy a smartphone, download an app, or try dating on Tinder. That's the external part. Over time, these triggers have transformed into internal triggers.

What am I trying to say here?

You learned to no longer need external triggers (like notifications, emails, etc.) to feel the urge to open an app or go on Tinder. The urge now comes from within. You are hooked.

So, why should you start training your brain to resist these internal triggers?

Self Efficacy and Agency.

At the end of the podcast episode, Dr. Degen connects the dots between triggers, reactions and relationsships (to ourselves and others). She said:

"You do it once, then you think mark, integrate, you think yay and then the next time it's easier and the time after that at some point you're much, much closer to your ideal, yourself for your own sake.”

When you yield to an internal trigger, like lying on the sofa and doom-scrolling TikTok, you choose the easy, familiar outcome. Initially, you might think your brain is saving energy. But:

• You probably don't feel good or comforted.

• You most likely don't experience feelings of agency or gratitude.

• You haven't gotten any closer to your ideal self.

So, when you start resisting internal triggers, you actually start doing something (a big deal) for yourself. For your OWN SAKE.

In German, there is the beautiful word Selbstwirksamkeitserwartung.

In English, this translates to: perceived Self-Efficacy.

Self-Efficacy is the subjective belief that one can cope with new or difficult challenging situations due to one's own competencies. It is needed for tasks whose level of difficulty requires effort and perseverance.

High self-efficacy has been associated with less frequent anxiety disorders and depression, good academic and professional performance, low stress responses, rapid coping with critical life events, high pain tolerance, more health behavior, better immune system, satisfying social relationships, and high well-being.

Condensed into one sentence:

When a problem arises, I can master it through my own efforts.

Self-efficacy is critical for building personal agency and fueling your generative drive in life.

Let me share one tool that works wonders for both me and my coaching clients:

Becoming Indistractable

When I read the book Indistractable by Nir Eyal it really made me rethink Focus, Learning and managing Distraction and/or Triggers.

According to Nir Eyal there is an uncomfortable truth which we should acknowledge sooner than later:

• Distraction is always an unhealthy escape from reality.

• It’s a way our brain deals with internal pain.

90% of distractive triggers are internal triggers. 90% (sic!).

Resisting them, ruminating about them, and finally giving in to those triggers/your desire is highly contraproductive. This way many of our unwanted behaviours are determined in your brain over time.

You can deal with uncomfortable internal triggers in a different way, here is how:

#Step 1

↳ Look for the feeling that makes you want to get distracted. Are you anxious, bored, or restless?

#Step 2

↳ Write it down: Write down what you were doing, the time of day, and how you felt at that moment.

✅ I try to keep my notebook and a pen always right next to my laptop.

✅ I have a Distraction-Box in my daily planner.

#Step 3

↳ Be curious about the bad feeling instead of being mad at yourself.

✅ This mindfulness helps reduce the power of the trigger. Accept it as it is.

#Step 4

↳ If you feel compelled to act on a distraction, wait 10 minutes before giving in.

✅ For Pro’s: Try the tool FLOWING STREAM:

“Imagine you are seated beside a gently flowing stream. Then imagine there are leaves floating down that stream. Place each thought in your mind on each leaf. It could be a memory, a word, a worry, an image. And let each of those leaves float down that stream, swirling away, as you sit and just watch.”

Hard things become easier through persistent work over time.

Some claim there are magical tools that make hard things easy without effort.

Well, great tools exist, 𝗯𝘂𝘁 if you don't use them consistently, any changes will be superficial.

True change requires hard work over time.

Hard things made easy by hard work over time are the things to focus on - that is a quote by Andrew Huberman on Linked-In.

𝗙𝗼𝗰𝘂𝘀 and 𝗟𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 are gateway skills to become truly indistractable.

Mastering the basics will always be superior to somewhat "miracle" tools or hacks

This encapsulates Focus, Friction and Consistence to Learn.

𝗙𝗼𝗹𝗹𝗼𝘄 𝗺𝗲 𝗮𝗹𝗼𝗻𝗴 𝗺𝘆 𝗷𝗼𝘂𝗿𝗻𝗲𝘆 - linking these concepts together.

That’s it for this month.

See you again at the 6th of September.

In the meantime, please share this newsletter with your friends and colleagues, who might like this content.

Let’s connect on Linked-In here.

If you are interested in my coaching program “Mastering Emotions” email me or book an orientation call here:

Take care,

Yours,

Moritz

Sources & Links

• Podcast Hotel Matze

• Website Nir Eyal