When I started coaching Emotional Intelligence back in 2023,
I assumed most of my work would be teaching people something new.
It wasn't!
Almost every client I've worked with already knows (in theory) that emotions matter. But what they usually don't have is a basic, practical handle on their own emotional experience in the moment it's actually happening.
It’s not "read a book about EQ."
And not "become more empathetic" as a vague aspiration.
Just: what am I actually feeling right now specifically
and what do I do with that information in the next thirty seconds?
That's what today is about. The EQ Basics: the ones almost everyone
skips because they assume they already have them.
Let's get into it!
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Today at a Glance
➡️ The Skill Everyone Assumes They Have
➡️ The NeuroScience Behind EQ Basics
➡️ How I coach EQ Basics
The Skill Everyone Assumes They Have
Ask most executives if they're emotionally intelligent, and they'll say…. yes!.
Ask them to name, specifically, what they felt in their last hard conversation,
and you'll often get one word: "stressed." Or "off." Or "fine, just tired."
That's the whole problem in one sentence. Most people's emotional vocabulary has about four words in it: good, bad, stressed, fine. Real emotional intelligence starts with more resolution than that - the difference between frustrated and disappointed, between anxious and overwhelmed, between annoyed and genuinely angry, isn't just semantics. Each of those calls for a different response, and you can't choose the right response to a feeling you haven't actually identified.
Let me explain it to you in more detail:
The NeuroScience Behind EQ Basics
How precisely you can name an emotion predicts how well you can manage it. Researchers call this "emotional granularity": the ability to distinguish between similar-but-different emotional states rather than lumping everything into "good" or "bad." People higher in emotional granularity are consistently less likely to fall back on maladaptive coping like binge drinking or aggression under distress, and show fewer symptoms of anxiety and depression, than people who describe most of their emotional life in broad strokes (Kashdan, Barrett & McKnight, 2015, Current Directions in Psychological Science; Kashdan et al., 2010, Psychological Science; Demiralp et al., 2012, Psychological Science).
Simply naming an emotion measurably calms your brain's threat response. An fMRI study found that putting a feeling into words (as simple as selecting the word "angry" or "sad" for an image) measurably reduced activity in the amygdala, the brain's threat-detection center, while increasing activity in a prefrontal region involved in verbal and inhibitory control (Lieberman et al., 2007, Psychological Science). The two regions moved in opposite directions: more labeling, less alarm!
This isn't a soft skill. It's one of the stronger predictors of job performance we have. A large integrative meta-analysis found that emotional intelligence predicts job performance about as strongly as other well-established predictors psychologists study, and does so beyond what's explained by cognitive ability or personality alone (O'Boyle et al., 2011, Journal of Organizational Behavior). Earlier and later meta-analytic work points the same way, across different datasets and EQ measures (Joseph & Newman, 2010, Journal of Applied Psychology).
Key Takeaways
Naming what you feel - specifically! - isn't a therapy exercise.
It's a direct lever on your nervous system.
It's also a direct lever on your actual performance.
And it's learnable in minutes…not in years.
How I Coach EQ Basics
#1: Upgrade your emotional vocabulary before you need it.
Keep a short list of 15-20 precise emotion words somewhere you'll actually see it.
Next time something happens, pick the most specific word, not the first vague one.
#2: Label it before you act on it.
One sentence, silently or out loud: "I'm noticing I feel [specific emotion] right now."
Do this before you respond to the email, the comment, the meeting.
The labeling itself changes what happens next in your brain,
before you've done anything else.
#3: Separate the feeling from the story about the feeling.
"I feel disrespected" is a story. "I feel angry" is a feeling.
Practice naming the feeling first, on its own, before you get to the interpretation of why.
It's a small distinction that changes how much the story runs away with you!
That's it for this Saturday.
The next newsletter edition will come out on Saturday, the 5th of September 2026.
We will continue with:
"The 90-Second Habit That Predicts Job Performance"
Own it!
Yours,
Moritz
PS:
Meet Moritz!
Can you rarely make time for physical activity or regeneration?
Do youI feel emotionally unstable and have difficulties to stay calm under pressure?
Is managing people emotionally and energetically draining for you?
If that sounds familiar, Mastering Emotions is for you. I began coaching in 2023. Since then, l've coached over 30 executives, entrepreneurs, and high potentials on building Emotional Intelligence and into becoming future leaders.
If you want to learn more about my coaching book an orientation call here:
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