Nearly every person I meet in professional or private life has one or even more:
A colleague who undercuts you. A boss who never quite trusts you.
A partner or child who “torments” you.
The part of your day where you “loose it”.
You've rehearsed conversations with them over and over again.
You maybe tried meditation, some tools, mantras, a priming routine.
Though, this person still takes up quite a lot space in YOUR head.
It’s like they live rent-free in your nervous system.
With you paying the rent - of course.
Usually, you can look for magic tools, analysis or change
of context factors all you want.
If you’d like to engage and solve the core reasons for this phenomenon,
you gotta look inside to tackle your inner torMENTORs first.
Today's tool sounds almost absurd the first time you hear it.
It's called Active Love.
Let's start.
In partnership with
Today at a Glance
➡️ Why a grudge is a leadership tax
➡️ The NeuroScience Behind Active Love
➡️ How I coach Active Love
The Grudge You Think Is Protecting You
Active Love, a move I borrow from Stutz & Michels (The Tools, 2012), flips that:
instead of waiting to feel forgiving, you deliberately send goodwill toward
the exact person who's bothering you.
Not because they deserve it.
Because you don't want to keep paying the mental bill.
Look at what the grudge actually buys you.
A tighter jaw before every interaction with that person.
A running commentary in your head that eats attention you need elsewhere.
A slow drift into treating a whole working relationship as a standing threat.
None of it lands on them — it lands on your focus, your presence,
and eventually the people around you who catch the spillover.
Active Love isn't about pretending the person is wonderful.
It's about refusing to let them set the temperature of your nervous system.
The NeuroScience Behind Active Love
Compassion is trainable — it reshapes the brain. Just a few hours of compassion training shift how the brain responds to others' suffering, moving it from distress toward warm, approach-oriented feeling (Klimecki et al., 2013, Cerebral Cortex). This is a new circuit you build, not a personality you're stuck with.
Directed goodwill builds you up — physically. People who practice loving-kindness accumulate more positive emotion and stronger vagal tone, a marker of a resilient nervous system, over just a few weeks (Kok et al., 2013, Psychological Science; Fredrickson et al., 2008, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology).
Warmth is the first thing people trust in a leader. We read warmth before competence, and it weighs more heavily in whether we trust someone (Fiske, Cuddy & Glick, 2007, Trends in Cognitive Sciences). Warmth you generate on purpose is a leadership asset, not a soft extra.
Key Takeaways
Resentment doesn't punish them — it taxes you.
Compassion is a trainable circuit, not a fixed trait.
Active Love is tool for INNER CHANGE.
Directed warmth is a genuine leadership advantage.
How I Coach Active Love
#1: Go inside.
Picture the person, your torMENTOR.
What do you feel? Where do you feel the emotion in your body/system?
Now, gather a feeling of warmth in your chest. Try to bring up all the love you got and collect it inside you.
#2: Send the love.
The hard part is the following: Picture the person again
and try to imagine sending all the love you just generated to this person.
But: Try to stay in “Self”.
#3: Stay in Self
When sending love and warmth to your tormentor, try to stay with your Self as well.
Meaning that you feel the connection between yourself and the other person.
This is really important, because this tool is all about you
and not so much about the other person.
That's it for this Saturday.
The next edition comes out Saturday, the 19th of September 2026.
We'll continue with: "Inner Authority" — where your confidence goes
in the one room you can't seem to hold it.
Own it!
Yours,
Moritz
PS:
Meet Moritz!
Can you rarely make time for physical activity or regeneration?
Do youI feel emotionally unstable and have difficulties to stay calm under pressure?
Is managing people emotionally and energetically draining for you?
If that sounds familiar, Mastering Emotions is for you. I began coaching in 2023. Since then, l've coached over 30 executives, entrepreneurs, and high potentials on building Emotional Intelligence and into becoming future leaders.
If you want to learn more about my coaching book an orientation call here:
Stop Paying for 10 Tools. One AI Does It All.
Most e-commerce sellers are running their store across 6 to 10 separate tools — and spending more time managing software than growing their business. StoreClaw replaces your entire stack with one autonomous AI engine that monitors competitors, optimizes listings, automates marketing, and tracks real profit across Shopify, Amazon, and beyond.
It doesn't wait for you to ask. It runs 24/7 in the background, so you wake up to a full dashboard instead of a list of things you forgot to check.
Connect your store, and StoreClaw gets to work — no prompts, no complex setup, no six-app stack.
Free to start. No credit card required.
Your 24/7 Fall Hydration Fix
Water alone won't cut it this fall. Pique's Deep Hydration Protocol pairs a morning beauty electrolyte with a calming nighttime magnesium blend. You'll sleep better and wake up refreshed. This bundle sells out every year — get 20% off for life. Shop now before it's gone.
AI Insights. Real Growth. Higher GMV, Better Profits
The difference between growing stores and stagnant ones isn't more effort. It's better insights. StoreClaw analyzes your Shopify and Amazon data, surfaces your biggest growth opportunities, and helps you increase GMV while protecting profit. Start free with bonus tokens. No credit card required.
