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- Anger - A gift or a curse?
Anger - A gift or a curse?
How to move forward, motivate and use it for good.
Moritz Eikelmann
July 05, 2025
Some words upfront.
Welcome to all new subscribers. I thank you for your support and hope for you to find my writing appealing.
This month editions comes 1 week late. Me and my family were feeling very sick (probably a summer influenza-virus). Isn’t it remarkable how great recovery feels? Though, in retrospect, how shitty did my body and mind feel the last two weeks?
An Update.
A great thing is my very good friend, Jens, will join my team, starting in August. He will support me with the Linked-In-Game and curating content. This means, we will be able to write this newsletter 2 times per month, starting in August.
12 weeks on Linked-In: Be curious - not judgemental.
High potentials and future leaders
What I still feel angry about.
Common Myths about Anger (that are scientifically false)
Mastering Anger - Navigating conflicts (science-backed)
A book for you: The Gift of Anger.
12 weeks on Linked-In: Be curious - not judgemental.
Before I started posting regularly on Linked-In 12 weeks ago, my mentor and friend Christian told me: “Moritz, you will need a very patient though at the same time fast learning mindset!”
He - so far -was right. Linked-In is changing every quarter at the moment. It becomes harder and harder to grow a following. Here is what I will try for the next 12 weeks:
Stick with the basics: Post with a schedule, comment daily and build your network. Like in real life, let’s say at a conference.
Be curious and learn: I was very happy with my content so far and got quite a lot feedback due to it’s quality. But:
I am not connect to my #1 ideal clients.
High potentials and future leaders.
So trying to make content and sell coachings for my “old network”, like psychiatrists and psychotherapists or other doctors from Germany?
Not in this world. They never react, never comment, never answer dm’s and would never buy my coaching.
As a consequence, my Linked-In stats made me think: Who do I love working with? Who really likes coaching? Who is still hungry for real change?
It is people in middle management positions, project managers, head of’s, directors and so on.
People on their way to C-Level (or not, as they find a different path).
And to finally transition to todays topic: Conflicts (e.g. with current C-Level or your BOSS) are the number 1# topic in business coaching.
What I still feel angry about.
Interestingly, conflicts are the #1 topic - Anger is not.
Did you experience conflicts at work? Yes? Me too. Sometimes I still think about or revisit past situations.
When I was a student doing an internship at a clinic, a professor and chief of medicine would just call me out in front of the whole team, asking me (at this time) impossible to know questions about a case. Just to devalue my answer before leaving the room.
Or a senior doctor storming into my office shouting “if I had problems with writing medical letters”? (The weekly schedule was designed not to admit time for that).
Or our chief physician shutting down a popular student seminar I held with my a colleague of mine as another senior physician felt threatened (she was responsible for the whole teaching section, but fucking sucked at it, in my humble opinion).
When I think about these situations today, I do not get angry any more, but it still feels like a loss.
So, for today, let’s revisit ANGER and how to use it for your own good and inner peace:
Common Myths about Anger.
Common myths about anger include several widespread but inaccurate beliefs. My top #3 myths consists of:
Anger is per se a negative emotion. It is inherited, biologically hardwired and therefore is resistent to change.
Holding in anger is always bad, and letting it out is always good.
Expression of anger leads to being aggressive.
What does science say about anger?
Anger is a natural response. It can serve as a useful tool. It signals when your boundaries are crossed or needs are unmet.
Anger is foremost a learned behavior. It can be changed.
Suppressing anger is most likely a very popular psychological self defense mechanism (so called turn against the self) responsible for increased risks of anxiety, depression, muscle tension, headaches, stomach issues and cardiovascular diseases.
Uncontrolled expression comes also not recommended The key is learning to recognize, understand, and express anger constructively
But Doctor! Other people make me angry all the time. And what about my micromanaging boss? And the new partner at our firm? And Trump?
It's a common misconception that others directly cause your anger.
In reality, anger arises from our interpretation of others' behavior and intentions, not from the behavior itself. This is important. I wrote a whole article about how emotions are made called The Biggest Mindset Shift by far - Your Brain is a Prediction Machine (link below).
So, to manage your anger, you first got to accept it as your feeling and your responsibility.
It’s a vital part of your inner working model. You need anger to survive. Here a framework which helped me and my clients to reframe what anger means.
1. PREVENT ANGER (start in the morning)
↳ As your brain’s main task is to run your systems and keep you alive, probably 70-80% of energy is used to do exactly this. In turn, taking excellent care of your biology, is key.
↳ When your brain is feeling good it for sure will make better predictions (meaning predict less uncontrolled anger).
✅ Prioritize your Sleep above everything else. Track your sleep quality and quantity.
✅ Do a Workout first thing in the morning (or when it is possible for you). Even if it’s just 10 minutes. Do this every morning.
✅ Give your body a rest from food, e.g. try fasting. Think about your nutritional intake. Sugar is not your friend when it comes to emotional balance.
These things come first. The rest (all the fancy tools, habit building, routines and rituals) come after that.
2. CONTAIN ANGER (during the day)
↳ You can access your autonomic nervous system very directly within seconds.
↳ This is great, as this usually does not work (therefore it is called autonomic nervous system).
↳ Inhale for 4 seconds through the nose. Exhale for 8 seconds through pursed lips.
Some words upfront.
Welcome to all new subscribers. I thank you for your support and hope for you to find my writing appealing.
This month editions comes 1 week late. Me and my family were feeling very sick (probably a summer influenza-virus). Isn’t it remarkable how great recovery feels? Though, in retrospect, how shitty did my body and mind feel the last two weeks?
An Update.
A great thing is my very good friend, Jens, will join my team, starting in August. He will support me with the Linked-In-Game and curating content. This means, we will be able to write this newsletter 2 times per month, starting in August.
12 weeks on Linked-In: Be curious - not judgemental.
High potentials and future leaders
What I still feel angry about.
Common Myths about Anger (that are scientifically false)
Mastering Anger - Navigating conflicts (science-backed)
A book for you: The Gift of Anger.
12 weeks on Linked-In: Be curious - not judgemental.
Before I started posting regularly on Linked-In 12 weeks ago, my mentor and friend Christian told me: “Moritz, you will need a very patient though at the same time fast learning mindset!”
He - so far -was right. Linked-In is changing every quarter at the moment. It becomes harder and harder to grow a following. Here is what I will try for the next 12 weeks:
Stick with the basics: Post with a schedule, comment daily and build your network. Like in real life, let’s say at a conference.
Be curious and learn: I was very happy with my content so far and got quite a lot feedback due to it’s quality. But:
I am not connect to my #1 ideal clients.
High potentials and future leaders.
So trying to make content and sell coachings for my “old network”, like psychiatrists and psychotherapists or other doctors from Germany?
Not in this world. They never react, never comment, never answer dm’s and would never buy my coaching.
As a consequence, my Linked-In stats made me think: Who do I love working with? Who really likes coaching? Who is still hungry for real change?
It is people in middle management positions, project managers, head of’s, directors and so on.
People on their way to C-Level (or not, as they find a different path).
And to finally transition to todays topic: Conflicts (e.g. with current C-Level or your BOSS) are the number 1# topic in business coaching.
What I still feel angry about.
Interestingly, conflicts are the #1 topic - Anger is not.
Did you experience conflicts at work? Yes? Me too. Sometimes I still think about or revisit past situations.
When I was a student doing an internship at a clinic, a professor and chief of medicine would just call me out in front of the whole team, asking me (at this time) impossible to know questions about a case. Just to devalue my answer before leaving the room.
Or a senior doctor storming into my office shouting “if I had problems with writing medical letters”? (The weekly schedule was designed not to admit time for that).
Or our chief physician shutting down a popular student seminar I held with my a colleague of mine as another senior physician felt threatened (she was responsible for the whole teaching section, but fucking sucked at it, in my humble opinion).
When I think about these situations today, I do not get angry any more, but it still feels like a loss.
So, for today, let’s revisit ANGER and how to use it for your own good and inner peace:
Common Myths about Anger.
Common myths about anger include several widespread but inaccurate beliefs. My top #3 myths consists of:
Anger is per se a negative emotion. It is inherited, biologically hardwired and therefore is resistent to change.
Holding in anger is always bad, and letting it out is always good.
Expression of anger leads to being aggressive.
What does science say about anger?
Anger is a natural response. It can serve as a useful tool. It signals when your boundaries are crossed or needs are unmet.
Anger is foremost a learned behavior. It can be changed.
Suppressing anger is most likely a very popular psychological self defense mechanism (so called turn against the self) responsible for increased risks of anxiety, depression, muscle tension, headaches, stomach issues and cardiovascular diseases.
Uncontrolled expression comes also not recommended The key is learning to recognize, understand, and express anger constructively
But Doctor! Other people make me angry all the time. And what about my micromanaging boss? And the new partner at our firm? And Trump?
It's a common misconception that others directly cause your anger.
In reality, anger arises from our interpretation of others' behavior and intentions, not from the behavior itself. This is important. I wrote a whole article about how emotions are made called The Biggest Mindset Shift by far - Your Brain is a Prediction Machine (link below).
So, to manage your anger, you first got to accept it as your feeling and your responsibility.
It’s a vital part of your inner working model. You need anger to survive. Here a framework which helped me and my clients to reframe what anger means.
1. PREVENT ANGER (start in the morning)
↳ As your brain’s main task is to run your systems and keep you alive, probably 70-80% of energy is used to do exactly this. In turn, taking excellent care of your biology, is key.
↳ When your brain is feeling good it for sure will make better predictions (meaning predict less uncontrolled anger).
✅ Prioritize your Sleep above everything else. Track your sleep quality and quantity.
✅ Do a Workout first thing in the morning (or when it is possible for you). Even if it’s just 10 minutes. Do this every morning.
✅ Give your body a rest from food, e.g. try fasting. Think about your nutritional intake. Sugar is not your friend when it comes to emotional balance.
These things come first. The rest (all the fancy tools, habit building, routines and rituals) come after that.
2. CONTAIN ANGER (during the day)
↳ You can access your autonomic nervous system very directly within seconds.
↳ This is great, as this usually does not work (therefore it is called autonomic nervous system).
↳ Inhale for 4 seconds through the nose. Exhale for 8 seconds through pursed lips. • Focus mentally on the exhale.
✅ Focus mentally on the exhale. The extended exhale is your physiological reset button.
✅ The extended exhale triggers parasympathetic dominance, lowering heart rate and cortisol within 30 seconds.
3. DECODE ANGER (with focused work)
↳ I do this myself and with my clients in coachings. It really works well. But:
↳ Building EQ is really hard. It takes time. And it takes focused work.
↳ There are many tools to apply in order to identify anger's subtypes, like Frustration, Injustice, Contempt or Vulnerability. Start simple, start here:
✅ Before going to bed, just write down 3 lines, answering the following questions: What did I feel today?
✅ Use the App HOW WE FEEL (link below) twice per day.
✅ High-granularity leaders resolve conflicts 3x faster by addressing root causes rather than surface reactions.
A book for you: The Gift of Anger.
If you made it till here. Great. Bravo!
Please send me some feedback, if you like, if this content is valuable for you (even if you are not a high potential per se).
Let me know, if you have a topic you are interested in for future editions.
"The Gift of Anger" by Arun Gandhi is just a great fit for this edition. His grandfather is Mahatma Gandhi and there are 11 life lessons in this book.
“Use your anger for good. Anger to people is like gas to the automobile—it fuels you to move forward and get to a better place. Without it, we would not be motivated to rise to a challenge. It is an energy that compels us to define what is just and unjust.”
That’s it for this month.
See you at the end of July again.
In the meantime, please share this newsletter with your friends and colleagues, who might like this content.
Let’s connect on Linked-In here.
If you are interested in my coaching program “Mastering Emotions” email me or book an orientation call here:
Take care,
Yours,
Moritz
Sources & Links
My Linked-In-Post about Mastering Anger for High Potentials
My Newsletter about How Emotions Are Made
The How We Feel App
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